THE PYRAMID SCHEME
In my early to mid-twenties, like many people that age, I thought I had life pretty well figured out. I believed I knew everything I needed to know. Around that time, a charismatic young woman with whom I worked — someone who became a good friend — began telling me about a business she was involved in that was supposedly bringing her wealth and opportunity.
Despite our camaraderie, I felt a twinge of skepticism. Still, a small part of me was curious. That little sliver of “what if?” lured me in. She invited me to attend a meeting the following week so I could see for myself what this business could do for my life.
Prior to attending this meeting, I went to visit my grandmother — one of the most precious people in my life. (What I wouldn’t give for just one more of those conversations!) I told her about this friend and the exciting opportunity I was exploring. That’s when she gently, but firmly, burst my hopeful bubble. She reminded me of a phrase I had heard before but never fully grasped until that day: a pyramid scheme. She gave me a surface-level explanation of what it meant, and although I tried to save face by brushing it off — insisting it couldn’t possibly be that — deep down, I knew she was right. I did not want to think that someone who had become a good friend would use me in such a way.
I still went to the meeting, but this time I went armed with awareness. And because of that, I avoided wasting time, energy, and money on something that was never what it claimed to be.
Years later, I can’t help but notice striking similarities between that kind of scam and many aspects of modern life. At their core, pyramid schemes reward early adopters while sustaining themselves through the constant recruitment of new believers. The few at the top reap immense benefits, while the many at the bottom work tirelessly for scraps — all under the illusion that they’re building a better future.
These schemes often celebrate the success of the early investors, touting their product or belief system as “the best way to live” — promising a future reward just around the corner. But that corner never comes. Instead, people are encouraged to keep the faith while deflecting blame outward and fighting amongst themselves rather than examining the structure they’re helping to uphold.
Some of us, whether through intuition or after encountering painful truths, eventually break out of these patterns. But many don’t. Some are too financially or emotionally invested to walk away. Others are so afraid of being wrong that they double down — preferring the comfort of the familiar lie to the discomfort of the unfamiliar truth.
So, in case you’re wondering if I’m referring to the institution or ideology you’re currently committed to — yes, I am. Whichever one you support so fervently that you breeze past every red flag because you’re convinced it’s leading you somewhere special… that’s the one. The group makes you feel like you belong, like you’re “in the know.” And because your friends and loved ones are part of it too, how could it possibly be wrong?
Despite choosing not to join the business my friend pitched to me, she continued to try to recruit me. I didn’t end our friendship over it, and honestly, I didn’t feel confident enough back then to challenge her worldview. I doubt she would have listened anyway. She had a gift for making others feel inspired and hopeful — conjuring vivid visions of a better future that felt just within reach. My choice to walk away began with my grandmother’s concern and willingness to speak an uncomfortable truth. Her love gave me clarity — the kind of clarity I might have ignored had it come from anywhere else.
I see now that many of today’s problems stem from this same psychological pattern. We spend so much time defending our beliefs, trying to convert others, and assuring ourselves we’re on the right path that we rarely stop to question the foundation beneath us. We become so certain that we’re on the side of good that we overlook — or excuse — atrocities committed in our name. The phrase “lesser of two evils” becomes a justification for accepting reprehensible actions, as long as they come from our side.
But here’s the real tragedy: while we’re busy arguing, shaming, and defending our “in-group,” we rarely look up. Because yes — there are winners in every pyramid scheme. There are people at the top whose lifestyles are funded by the cycles of violence, division, and distraction below. As long as we stay busy fighting each other, we never bother to peek behind the curtain.
Absolutism and certainty are often just the ego’s armor. But living from the ego disconnects us from reality and authenticity. If we truly want to grow, we need to normalize being wrong. Admitting we’ve been misled or mistaken doesn’t weaken our character — it strengthens it. Paradoxically, those who can acknowledge when they’ve been fooled are often the most trustworthy. In contrast, those who cling to damaging ideologies to preserve their status within a group may remain popular, but lack true integrity.
So maybe it’s time we ask ourselves a few uncomfortable but necessary questions:
Who is ultimately benefiting from my unwavering allegiance to this belief system or institution?
Why do I feel compelled to defend it so passionately — or to recruit others into it?
Am I overlooking harm caused to others simply because it aligns with my chosen side?
And perhaps most importantly: If everyone were to stop resisting and fully embrace what my group is promoting, what would that world actually look like? Would it be a utopia? If so, are we seeing any evidence of that utopia within the group now?
If the promised future involves the oppression and suffering of any other people or groups — maybe it’s not a future worth pursuing. If the costs keep mounting, maybe it’s time to stop climbing the pyramid and start dismantling it. Maybe the true path to meaning isn’t found in certainty, conformity, or consensus… but in humility, curiosity, and the courage to step off the well-trodden road — even when everyone else is still marching ahead.
We are living in a time where underlying motivations are becoming less nuanced and more obvious. It is a time where those who are self-reflective can begin to fully recognize the cost of being part of a particular group and decide that the individual discomfort of breaking away from their community is worth the risk compared to the hypocrisy and participating in the continued marginalization and oppression of others by the group. The past few years, especially, have presented us all with a litmus test. And the failure of so many reveals the underlying motivations that keep them defending the group.
The truth might not come wrapped in excitement or sold with a smile, but it’s the only thing that can set us free.
